Penelope Clearwater is not a Quaffle type of girl

item the first. I am happily back to my brunette self.

item the second. I have hired an assistant. Welcome aboard, Justin Finch-Fletchley. Do not meddle in the affairs of Alfreds, for they are easily bored and prone to pranks.

[Private to Lisa Turpin]

Su Li mentioned that you were possibly interested in seeing me. I will be at school this coming Thursday, if that suits.

[end private]

[Private]

Almost a week later, and I am still blonde. I suppose it makes for an interesting social experiment?

[end private]

I have to conceed when I have been well-played. In retaliation to my colleague Alfred hexing my cup of tea so that the liquid stayed put, I had charmed it to the ceiling above his desk in inticipation of his original charm finally wearing off. The cup apparently went unnoticed, and I had been going back and forth to check on its progress.

However, all along, Alfred was aware of what I'd done, and was periodically refreshing the charms so that the tea stayed put. So very well done. You get this round.

More importantly, it has been allocated in the budget that I receive a part-time assistant. This person must have good clerical abilities, be organised and responsible, and able to keep confidential information that way. If interested, please let me know of a suitable time when we may meet.

One of the things with working at St. Mungo's is that the many of the Healers have the quirky sense of humour that hospital staffers are reputed to develop.

This morning I went to have a sip of my tea, only to realise that the liquid inside the cup wasn't moving at all. I turned it sideways. The tea still didn't budge. I then flipped the cup completely upside down. Rather fortunately considering, nothing happened. It was therefore a logical conclusion that I was the victim of a prank.

Needless to say, I did track down the eventual culprit. Said cup of tea has now been hexed upside down to the ceiling above his desk. As of four this afternoon, the original charm on it still held.

[Private]

New to the famous last words file: "Alright, but I'll only have one."

Here's one to overestimating my alcohol tolerance when running on an average of four hours sleep for the past two weeks. At least I did have fun before the full effects hit me. And Alfred shouted everyone. As he should have. He was the lucky bastard who won the betting pool.

And at least I drunk my own weight in water before I went to bed. And had all of yesterday to sleep it off.

[end private]

If anyone who participated in the betting pool wants their five Sickles back, hit Alfred in Artifacts Accidents up for a beer on Friday night.

Thank you again for your contributions to and support of the St. Mungo's charity game. We can now afford ventures that we wouldn't have been able to consider previously, and will make our patients the recipients of your generosity.

BAD NEWS, STUDENTS. VERY BAD NEWS.

There is NO DISCOUNT as promised for the charity match.

BECAUSE I don't know if ATTENDING FOR FREE counts as a discount.

(And my word, for a non-monetary sum, there were a lot of "counts" in that.)


Anyways, long story short: Hogwarts has agreed to host the charity match, so as a gesture of appreciation, current students will have their entrance fees waivered. Numbers limited to forty per house, so please sign up with your relevant house head. Oh, and due to needed adjustments for both security and increased seating for the stadium, the pitch will be closed from Thursday, 6 am, onwards.

Do note how I am using ink in the colours of both teams for this update. How very diplomatic of me!

Finally, if you are (a) not currently attending Hogwarts, and (b) of age, I have gone back to my wicked ways and am setting up an unofficial betting pool on the closest predicted amount to the actual scoreline. Five Sickle buy-in: winner takes all!

After a friendly suggestion, Team Red and Team Blue have been changed to Team Phoenix and Team Dragon respectively*. Hope that those who protested against the original names were not too concerned, and that we will still be blessed by your presence on Saturday the 25th.

* Unofficially however, you may call them Team Destroyer and Team Annihilator, if you wish.

For those interested:

Team Red Seeker: Viktor Krum Keeper: Travis Battle Chasers: Landon Fanghorn Angelina Johnson Joan Landsborough Beaters: Julien Kelso Nolan O'Carroll (C)

Team Blue Seeker: Harry Potter Keeper: Christmas Garrick Chasers: Marcus Flint James Madley Bradley Moran Beaters: Haul Dawkins Gwenog Jones (C)

Tickets will start at two Galleons, with a potential discount for students. Be there or be...not there.

( Private )

My oh my, I would have never thought that fashion held such sway over big burly Quidditch players and their decision of what team they choose to carry out their career at! No wonder the Cannons are faring so poorly. Who wants to play in bright orange, except on Halloween?

Although the Tornados have very fine team colours, if I may say so myself. Anyhow:

ATTENTION PROFESSIONAL QUIDDITCH TYPES. ST. MUNGO'S WANTS YOU.*

*Well, not in our wards, hopefully.

YES, there will be a fundraising MATCH held on SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25th. All proceeds towards the match, including ticket costs, will be used to bolster our services and funding to provide you with a more advanced (and hopefully Chicken Man-free) St. Mungo's.

For this (unless you want to see Gus Pye on a broomstick), we will need enough QUIDDITCH PLAYERS to assemble two teams. That's FOURTEEN, for those who are currently unable to do the maths. If someone can rope in Krum, that would be brilliant. So if you are CURRENTLY registered with a professional side, PLEASE consider taking a day from your busy schedule and SHOW UP FOR CHARITY!

(Incidentally, I am on the fundraising committee and will do my best to insure that both teams are fitted in hues that will show your pretty faces to their full advantage).

( Penelope's clients and storylines - in progress )

( You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. - Robin Williams )